Hey Reader,
TL;DR:
Letting go of control, comfort in the uncomfortable, disappointments are opportunities, and how it connects to the AD Playback Lounge, and speaking in Toronto.
In The Antidote, Oliver Burkeman mentions a word someone else coined for the opposite of closure: opensure. The idea is that it’s the ambiguity of the unresolved. As uncomfortable as that is, it can be a strange sort of acceptance.
I felt that ambiguity watching You Can See Everything, a three-hour documentary that goes WAY beyond what the trailer.
In my own life, I’ve noticed that trying to control things, or trying to get answers like Nancy Drew, can lead to dead ends. Or my laser focus approach, that doesn’t let anything else in.
And yet the lack of closure sometimes can open up avenues that didn’t exist before. (for those of you who saw the movie, that last sentence has a nice little Easter Egg word for you. Kinda proud of that one.)
I’ve been in a state of sequential disappointments, including car key fobs, schedules, several assumptive misunderstandings on my part, and personal hot spot unavailability (which, spoiler alert, was solved by restart the phone). Now my normal way of dealing with them is that each one compounds on the others until I spiral out and shut down. But I would keep carrying them.
Some days it feels like old-school television, channel surfing through a thriller, a horror movie, a Jim Carrey comedy, a kids show, an instructional video. As much as I try to keep up, it’s exhausting to change the channel. And I’m SO susceptible to letting fate or circumstance pick up the remote.
But strangely, this time, I’m finding opportunities in each of these uncomfortable disappointments, without negating them or pretending they don't exist. Those disappointments can also hold hope in new or different directions. Like pivots. And I find this sense of comfort with the discomfort.
But here I am, staying focused on one thing as best I can. Even with the ambiguity. Even with the ridiculousness of circumstances beyond my control.
The losses and some wonderful opportunities have arrived at the same time. I want to weave them together into who I am, and let the uncomfortable feelings be just what they are. No lesson. No shame. No sense that I did something wrong. Literally as it is. Toni Jones gets it.
It’s an open canvas. I’m going to do the best I can, humanity and all. I’m giving myself space to explore what I’m looking for, and to stay open to things outside my old limiting beliefs.
The other day I went into the studio with an engineer and recorded close to 100 cues in record time. I’ve also spent another day recording 1,000 cues, each placed to picture. Delivering all of that while keeping up with the rest of life feels really good. The good feeling comes from my way of getting things done. And that feels new.
The AD Playback Lounge is now prepared through the end of the year: weekly workout challenges mapped out, monthly themes established, and monthly training and monthly group coaching scheduled. I’ve spent the last year or so building different approaches, looking for the most efficient one. I keep finding better ways to communicate and share. I’ve also let go of some expectations I had about what the membership is.
I’ve had some great suggestions on how to share what the membership actually is, and I’ve worked several talking points into RoySamuelson.com/lounge. Right now there are over 50 workouts available instantly, plus 20+ hours of training and group coaching, showing how Audio Description performance in film and TV keeps that nuanced and aligned performance.
It’s what I wished I’d had when I started in Audio Description, and again later as I developed my craft and saw what was missing in the training space.
A dear friend and I traded messages recently, and I ended the conversation by saying a rising tide lifts all ships. That line is what the Lounge is to me. When I think about opensure, about wanting to control things and not being able to, I get really excited about how the Lounge can help prepare people for that, and in community.
This week I’m speaking in Toronto. I believe it’s my first international speaking credit. I’m still adjusting the message, how I say it, and who I’m saying it to. Not all of it will be perfect. I’ll do the best I can to give the audience a message I hope resonates with them.
Thank you for being part of this newsletter and sharing in these experiences with me. The biggest thing I’m taking from this last week is that disappointment can lead to opportunities that never existed before. I’m thankful for that.
If you want a place to practice staying steady when the scene won’t resolve, the Lounge is open. A new workout drops every Monday, and you’ll have company doing it. Join us at RoySamuelson.com/lounge.
Roy